Guess what song I heard on my way into work yesterday. Madonna. Holiday. That song was originally released in 1983, 27 years ago. It sucked backed then and it sucks now. It’s so old Madonna has actually had time since then to pick up a British accent. So why is it still on the radio and on a tier one station no less?? Hearing it got me thinking about all the other shitty songs that have worn out their welcome on the airwaves. Here’s my partial list.
Oh What a Night – Late December back in 63, what a very special time for me, cuz I remember what a night. Not only is this awful song still on the radio, it’s played at almost every wedding or event where there’s a band or DJ. I hate this song so much I put it on my wedding band’s PLAY THIS SONG AND I WILL NOT PAY YOU list. (Others on the list were We are Family, Celebrate and Livin on a Prayer.)
Don’t Stop Believing – I remember changing the station when this song would come on and I was in the 2nd grade. When I got to high school and they were STILL playing it at school dances, I was pissed. For a long time I thought we were done with it until someone decided to work it into the last scene of The Sopranos. So now it’s back and everywhere. I almost lost my shit when I was at the Farmer’s Market/The Grove in LA recently and they actually had a fountain blasting water everywhere with this song in the background.
Summertime – DJ Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince – Every year it’s the same thing. It’s the week leading up to Memorial Day weekend and DJs decide to play a little something to get people in the mood for Summer. I understand the motivation but why is it always this lame song from 1991??!! Then it doesn’t stop til September. I bet even Will Smith cringes at this one. I guess on the bright side we only have to deal with this one seasonally. In a sense it’s kind of like Christmas music.
Bust a Move, Young MC – Here’s one that I loved when it first came out. Why? Because I was 16 and I was gay. It comes on now and I still remember every word but I WILL NOT let myself sing along. Please stop playing this.
Baby I Love Your Way – Do you know who sings this? Do you think it’s Bob Marley? Here’s a tip. Not all reggae music is Bob Marley. It’s like saying all Asians look the same. It’s actually a Marley wanna be band called Big Mountain doing a cover of Peter Frampton’s song from 1975. If they were still playing his version, this song wouldn’t be on my list. If Bob Marley did a cover, it probably wouldn’t be on my list either.
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun – I think this video was one of the first I ever saw on V66 – which was a local music video station that pre-dated MTV. OK?
Now don’t get me wrong. Not all oldies are awful. There are actually a bunch I don’t mind hearing. Take Disco Inferno for one. That comes on and I instantly turn it up as loud as I can. In my head I have an afro and I’m dancing in a gold lame dress. Sweet Child O’ Mine is another one. Although the scene from Step Brothers kind of ruined it for me. Where the Streets Have No Name – The first few seconds of this song literally make my heart race. How brilliant was it that U2 filmed the video for this live on a rooftop in LA? Juicy – Maybe I was a little pre-menstrual but I cried during the scene in the movie Notorious when BIG laid this track down. I miss you Biggie Smalls.
OK, so help me out. What’s on your DO NOT PLAY list?