Two big differences

My husband and I have a lot in common.  We both share the same family values.  We’re both first generation Italian.  We’re both ambitious and driven.  And we both think I’m smart and funny.  But there are two areas where we couldn’t be more different.  Food and sleep.  I need lots of both.  He doesn’t need either.

Every day in our house starts the same way.  Enzo’s alarm goes off for a split second and he’s up and out of bed.  Fresh as a daisy!  It doesn’t matter if he went to bed at 9:00 or if he barely closed his eyes after a late night out.  He’s up.  He’s awake.  And he’s chatty.  He talks to the dog.  He talks to the cat.  He even talks to himself in the mirror.   I don’t mind that.  But the trouble is he also talks to me.  At 5:30 I’m in no mood.  Nonetheless, he makes a few comments, asks a few questions, I don’t answer and he’s out the door.  All by 5:45.  A long while later my alarm goes off.  I hit snooze.  It goes off again.  I hit snooze.  It goes off again.  I hit snooze.  Now multiply that by 4.  See the contrast?  And that’s not just on work days.  The same goes for Sundays.  He’s up.  I’m in a coma. 

Some nights before we go to sleep we play this game.  I’ll say, “I’m getting up with you tomorrow morning.”  He’ll say, “I’ll make sure you do.”  Then the morning comes and he remembers what he promised the night before.  “Mon, let’s go.  Come on.  Get up.  You said you were gonna.  Come on.  Let’s have coffee.  Sonny is up too.  Mon.  Mon.  Mon.”  I remain limp and lifeless and eventually he gives up. 

Enzo works hard and I mean really hard.  We’re talking digging holes, planting things, building things, tearing things down.  But there are some days when he’ll come home from work and his lunch is still untouched.  I’ll start to make dinner and he’ll announce, “I’m not eating.”  What???  After a day like his I’d be ready to eat my own arm.  Not him.  He eats to live – and sometimes not even.  I live to eat.  I wake up really looking forward to what I’m going to have for breakfast.  That first spoonful of yogurt and berries.  The first bite of protein bar.  Yum.  I’ll be just barely done with that before I’m wondering what’s good in the caf at work that day.  And all the while in the back of my mind I’m thinking about what I can eat for dinner. 

I love eating out and if we have reservations someplace I’ll check out the menu online days in advance to start weighing my options.  On a Saturday night give me the choice of a bar, hip club, lounge, concert, ball game, meeting the Pope or dinner and I’ll take dinner any time.  On the flip side I can ask Enzo what he wants to eat or where he wants to eat and the answer is always the same.  “I don’t care.”  And he really doesn’t.  Not at all. 

The big thing that pisses me off is Enzo’s ability to control his weight.  After the holidays he got it in his head that he needed to lose a few pounds.  He decided he wasn’t eating.  And he didn’t.  Two days later he was down 10 pounds.  I didn’t even think that was possible.   

Sometimes I wish I weren’t so food and sleep obsessed.  I think about how much more productive I’d be if I were an early riser.  With a couple of extra hours in the morning the house would be immaculate, the dog would be walked, the cats would be fed.  I think about how much fitter I’d be if I saw food for what it is – just fuel.  Imagine if no food would entice me to go over the edge?  I’m hoping the longer we’re married a little of Enzo will rub off on me.  Stay tuned to hear about my progress.

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8 thoughts on “Two big differences

  1. My guess is it’ll be the other way around for half of this equation: Enzo will begin to start appreciating food the way you do. I was the same way before meeting my lovely bride. Food was just an annoyance like taking out the trash; I didn’t savor meals. But eventually I began to see the light and derive pleasure from sitting down together over a nice, long dinner.

    Regarding the sleep thing, I think you’re screwed there. The older folks get the less they tend to sleep, and I think that’s particularly true of men. Mandy’s dad is up at 5 a.m. doing push-ups and sit-ups, as he’s done for years.

  2. I’m with Parry on this one. While Scott was nowhere near Enzo in terms of the food/sleep thing, he definitely ate and slept a lot less before he met me. 11 years later and the two of us crave sleep and food (in that order) pretty equally.

    My only advice is that if sleep and the ability to chew and taste your food when eating a meal are important to you, you might want to rethink the whole baby thing….

  3. Sort of like my husband and I in reverse but crossed over. I don’t care about food but I’ve been 20 lbs overweight since birth and I am obsessed by it; my husband lives to eat and he’s -00 pounds overweight and couldn’t care less. He needs 20 minutes of sleep and wakes up fresh as a daisy ready to eat again. I wake up looking forward to going to sleep.

  4. btw, I work for a man who hasn’t slept in 4 days and that’s normal for him. He closed a huge acquisition in Brazil late last night and wanted the press releases etc to coincide in UK and here and Brazil which meant they had to go out at 2:15 AM EST in 3 languages and had to be “strictly confidential” and so I was translating for about 20 hours straight. I finally found a pillow and a sofa and passed out at 5:15 AM only to be woken up by his calling to say :”Show time, all to you, way to go, time to shower, yippies, so exciting”.
    What I was thinking wouldn’t even translate well in English

  5. Aaah sweet sister, opposites attract enough said. However you will slowly find youtself changing not for him but because of him, especially when a BABY comes along (soon I hope)
    Love you both just the way you are
    Deb

  6. This had me cracking up at my desk! It sounds a lot like what goes on in my house between me and Russell. It is so sickening to me how he could take or leave food and if food is in front of me, I NEED TO HAVE IT!!

    Love this blog!

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