When you work in an office, dressing for Summer can be a challenge. At least for some. Or should I say for a lot of the people who work in my office building. I read that more than 1/3 of employers reported having to send people home for inappropriate work attire in the summer months.
I get that because we live in Massachusetts, dressing for warm weather doesn’t come naturally. We’re used to winter when dressing is easy. Throw on some wool and you’re set. But that doesn’t justify some of the get ups I’ve seen this year. It’s as if summer time rolls around and everyone around here goes bananas. They start pulling shit out of their closets from 10 summers ago on the Cape. Or the year before they had the baby. Or their clubbing phase. And they’re wearing it to work. Here are just a few examples of recent offenders:
- Today I saw a woman wearing bright pink denim cut offs. They were very short. To compensate for that she had black stirrup nylons on. That’s right. Black stirrup nylons. Under pink denim hot pants.
- A few days ago I saw a heavy-set woman wearing a black rayon dress with postcards from the islands printed all over it. I’m pretty sure it was a house coat (my mother used to wear these) and not a wear-in-the-outside-world-dress.
- I know shirt dresses are in. But not long ago I saw a girl wearing a shirt as a dress. Literally. A white button up – maybe her boyfriend’s – cinched at the waist – with a big elastic belt. Very high platform sandals. Maybe that’s appropriate for your Maxim magazine photo shoot, but not for Brighton Landing.
- Oh, and how about camisole tops? Ever notice how most stores pair them with a sweater? That’s because it’s NOT OK to wear them alone. Especially not in a professional environment. Come on, this is work. I don’t want to see your chicken mcnuggets. I don’t want to see your back fat. And let me tell you, even if you’re in great shape, still not OK. It’s embarrassing to see that much of a coworker’s upper body.
- It’s well after Memorial Day at this point. So, go ahead, wear white. But keep a few things in mind: 1. white can make you look fat 2. some white fabrics are see-through. A woman I saw in our cafeteria didn’t take those things into consideration when she pulled white jeans that showed every crevice on her butt and thighs on, over nothing. No underwear. Thanks. I just threw up in my mouth.
- I love open toed shoes. I wear them almost every day in the summer. But you know what I also do a lot in the summer? I get pedicures. Yup. If you’re going to wear open toes, you should too. Sometimes I’m flabbergasted by the feet I see walking around my building. Sometimes the ugliest feet belong to some pretty good looking people. And you know what that tells me? That they’re taking stuff for granted. Just because you’re attractive from the ankles up doesn’t mean you don’t have to pay attention to your hooves. You do.
Those are just a few of the atrocities I’ve seen. Anything to add?